CHOOSING TO CHOOSE MY POSTURE

“Life is a matter of choices and every choice you make, makes you”

John C Maxwell

On the evening of the 31st Dec I found myself at the back row of a church I had never been to before but decided to give it a go because I wanted to do something different. So, different is what we tried. Different is what we did.

There’s this quote that kept coming my way over the past couple of months that says “Whatever it is you are not changing, you are choosing” and in the days leading up to the new year, it boggled very inch of my mind. What exactly have I been choosing to choose? Where and how have I been making intentional choices? Or rather, have I been even making choices?

Church was so full. Packed to the brims. I knew some people went to church on New Years Eve, I just didn’t know it was this many people. Halfway through the service I realised that I was there but not really there. Couldn’t even figure out if I was thinking of anything in particular. While lost in that moment of probably being overwhelmed by all the people around me, I decided to dance and sing along (It was a catchy song). And before I knew it we were doing a countdown to into the new year. The singing and the dancing continued and for the split second that I paused, I realised that I was enjoying myself. Happy. At peace. Full of joy. And right there in that moment, I decided that there was room in my life to be so much more intentional. Deliberate intentional living is what we were choosing to pursue.

And so I whispered to myself: “I am going to dance my way through life. I will be postured in joy. And I will dance”

This is me. This is me choosing to choose the posture I adopt.

This past year was a blur. Sharp. Demanding. Eye, heart and mind blinding. A year that felt like I lost so many parts of self. A year of being stuck. A year where I felt myself refuse to move. Refuse to let go. Refuse to heal. Refuse to see or experience life any other way than that which had gotten me in the posture I found myself in. A year where I chose to accept the posture that circumstance had left me in. I needed the stability, because who knows that sometimes pain and turmoil can be a steady safety net.

I walk into this new year knowing very well that life, as it does, will go its own way. And that’s okay. As it happens, I will be making the choice to remain at a different and higher wavelength. As it happens, I will be choosing to dance my way through the chaos, through the interruptions, through the moments that don’t quite make sense. I will be choosing the posture it finds me. Choosing the posture I remain in after all that needs to happen has happened.

Choosing to choose. Moving with deliberate intention. Evolving. Changing.

I am going to dance my way through life. I will be postured in joy. And I will dance.

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